I have started this blog because my husband and I have been through hell over a 3+ year lawsuit for access/custody of his daughters. They were 10 and 11 when this started and we saw them occsionally, despite their mother trying to prevent their having ANY relationship with their dad. Now, thanks to the so-called Family Law system, we are completely alienated from them. Both kids rarely go to school and are failing everything, the youngest has cut her arms and is an illegal drug user (she's now 14), the other one (now 16) has been drugged (legally!!) since the age of 12 when she was put on anti-depressants, then anti-psychotics, and then both! The courts have twice issued Court Orders directing help for these kids and greater, regular access to their father but the mother totally ignores the Orders. There has been no enforcement and we have spent over $80,000 in legal fees.
I am an anthropologist and seek to collect information from people who have experienced similar situations so that I may expose this serious dismissal of dads in our society. The kids as well as their fathers, are suffering and this exclusion of fathers from parenting has huge social effects. Please comment and tell me your stories, first names are fine, as I certainly want to keep your identities anonymous.
My hope is to bring help to kids and dads and end the active legal discrimination against worthy fathers. I am in Canada but am interested in your stories from everywhere.
Hope to hear from you.
I found your blog because I tried to create one with the same name. Because I am in a similar situation, I have begun researching Parental Alienation as I am getting prepared to start litigation against my Son's mother. He was 2yrs old when we divorced and it devistated me. I did not want the marriage to end and was not a part of the cause. Completely her decision. As a result, I gave her everything she asked for until the very end in the hopes that she wouldn't follow through with it. That included legal custody. I have spent the last 6yrs seeing my son every other weekend only as defined in our decree. Until now, his social life was nothing more than family parties, so there was nothing really for me to miss (home school). Now, he is in public school, playing sports, and old enough to start asking why I never come to anything like his other friend's Dads. It is really beginning to affect him emotionally. I have spent the last 1.5 years really trying to become a stronger part of his life and she will not allow it. She says no to every request related to his school or sports activities. So, I have had enough and am looking into the first step of getting joint legal custody so that I can attend functions without her approval, have access to doctor's information, etc... I am never informed of when he goes to the doctor. He was in the Hospital and I never knew about it. I receive medication in his bag in an unidentified zip lock with instructions regarding administering. I hope for his sake I can bring an end to this and let him know it's okay to love his dad and have me in his life. btw...I have NEVER missed a child support payment in 6 years. I too am looking for information on other people's experience related to this type of Alienation. My case is in the state of Georgia.
ReplyDeleteBryan, it's been a few years since your post and I hope now your situation has much improved and your able to "father" your son. I don't understand why people think it's okay to ostracize one parent and brainwash the child. The child becomes a pawn and a weapon and suffers a great deal for it. In my son's case, it's so bad that his daughter seems to actually hate him. Yet she doesn't even know him because her mother and grandmother have been successful at their alienation against him. It's a sad state of affairs and I feel for all of the children and the parents put in this position. Best to you and your son.
DeleteI'm actually the grandmother of a teenage granddaughter who is currently estranged from her father and our family. My son was only 18 and his girlfriend 16 when their daughter was born. Right away, the girl's mother began controlling the situation and I could sense that things were not going to go well. My son (who is and was a good person) was only "allowed" to see his baby girl in the home of his girlfriend. The rest of our family had to follow suit. We were there visiting and after only a short time the maternal grandmother would tell us we had to leave. After a few months of this, my son and our family went to court in order to see the baby outside of the domineering grandmother's home. My son was treated terribly when he went to pick the baby up, and was not even given a bottle or a diaper for her visit. This went on for a few years and my son never missed his visits, even though he by now was driving 4 hours to see his daughter every other week. When my granddaughter was 6, visits stopped and my son was getting the run around each time he tried to schedule his visits. Finally, my son took his ex back to court but with horrendous results. My son was not able to afford a high powered attorney, but the grandmother of my granddaughter did hire a high powered attorney. The attorney hired a child psychologist who determined that my granddaughter would be better off if her step-dad adopted her. So my son more or less lost on all fronts. He begged and pleaded with the judge, but to no avail. At that point, my son seemed broken and gave up. My granddaughter's mother and grandmother spread malicious lies and half-truths around their community about my son and our family. They told people that my son and our family did not want to have a relationship with my granddaughter. They tried to pain my son as a bad person and dead-beat dad who didn't care about his daughter. Those of course were all lies. My granddaughter is now 16. She believes the lies her mother has told her which include; my son does not love her and never wanted a relationship with her; and her mother never tried to keep her from her father. All lies. My son wrote his now teenage daughter and told her the truth about everything. He explained that her mother and grandmother were not nice people and had used her as a pawn in life. That he loved her and fought for her and would love to build on their relationship. My granddaughter wrote him back calling him nothing but a sperm donor and other terrible things. She sided with her mother and grandmother and said that her father was more or less a loser and did not deserve the title of "father." Needless to say, my son was crushed and has now shut down completely as far as his daughter goes. I don't know if my granddaughter will ever be open to the truth. She is now a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome and is mentally ill herself.
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